My early days

okay well im like really bored and kant to sleep even though it is early hours in the morning so im just going to write cause frankly i jus want to do that and im just gona type words if it ends up making no sense then oh shit cas i dont want to think about it too much so here goes....

 well off that topic i was almost going to think about how i was going to start to get up and writing again - frankly im thinking about who is reading my blog what is he or she thinking? well i dont care i dont know what you are supposed to type on this thing but i find it a great way for me to let out what my thoughts are and that! i aint going to backstab any of my friends if that is what people are thinking - cause i dont think hat i am that sort of person - i geuss you could say i do a little gossip but who doesn't, everyone ends up talking about someone eventually its just the course of the path!  HIgh school omg that was full of heaps of gossiping shit like hell i was in the middle of it all and my friends would split and youd have to pick sides but not me - and i never really got into fights with my friends i never understood why that was i mean i aint perfect but maybe they were saving that time up for now cas like i barely talk to any of my old crew nowadays. i used to think well i am just a good friend thats why and i know i was but somewhere somehow i have no friends practicly. it sucks my days are spent at home on the internet most times watching movies and blooging and ov course facebook. i dont even really talk to friends on that i geuss i am just anti-social i've just been so ashammed because of family cas you get your rep from them well like you start under them like my dad he is in jail and in a gang and i had a boyfriend back in the days and his dad was in the oposing gang the gangs were enemies and well i sorta liked him but i couldn't do much and i cant now i feel likei have something to protect like my name was given by my grandmother, my looks aint that great in some poses but i know i have looks but they've just disapered.

When i was about 8 i useed to be skinny like really skinny and that was cool, i'd go out late nights hang with friends and that then go home i think thats around the stage i started smoking well before that actually. but then age 11 and im still smoking but growning up in the way i did and the others around me i would go to school and me and all my friends would take cigis - taking them out of parents smoke packets and smoke up large at school and then sumdays i would take some bear and during intervals we would ditch school down the bottom of  the soccer buses and we would drink up and smoke cigis and have like a picnic munchies there was like heaps ov us boys and girls now i feel those were the days. age just before 12 i think i had my first can of marijuanna - i still remeber those days as if they were yesterday for me the were the funest times me and my sister and cousins who shared with me cas other wise id tell on my sister comes naturally - and well me and my sister grew up mostly with guys from all ov dads mates and well the mother wasn;t very feminem so we would hang down at the bridge or the skatepark me, my sis, and cousin who lived with us and all my sisters mates and we would just smoke marijuanne for the whole day i dont remember who would have brought it but it didn't matter to me.
i feel that now that was a good experience to have had ov-course some people just need a bigger hit and so they go for something more but us no marijuanna was the end! High school at 13 still smoking cigis and weed and drinking at school, being little shits to the teachers and then i was the first new student at the school to go on a high on life course my friends didn't have to do it.  but i was in the older class with my sister and all her mates. i got to miss out on classes which was okay but then i got tired of cigarets cas i was always taking them from mum and shed end up fnding out and bashing me or something. and it was starting to be disgusting so i gave up at 15 start of 5th form i thought that the smell was just not that good!!
on my 15th birthday i got margarine container of weed from my dad cas i did the prunning! my sister wasn't going to school but one her mates we were friends and so i walked to school with her and we got high as high as you can get. and we still had to walk up to school but it was still early cas i wanted to miss first class but we walked up and we stopped in at the friends friend house and i fell asleep on the stairs outside like WTHell right! but feeling that now thinking about was great but i think at the time i might of felt like shit but thats just because i was bored shitless. having given up cigis i turned to food and now i find myself constantly poor, never leaving the house and went from size 12 to 16-18 in 3 years and i walked to school everyday and walked everywhere everyday i love my food who doesn't id never get surgery just my arse is huge not really but yeah and i feel i kant be anybody. Lets change the topic i have written way too much!